American Exodus: So... You wanna be a refugee?

We have arrived at a place in history where almost all of our collective learning is all but useless.
Who would’ve thought that we would enter such desperate political times that many Americans would express a very real desire to leave her bosom?

We are all learning that the Trump phenomenon has any number of variables.
I want to make it clear that even though I live life as an American Ex-Pat, I am in no way advocating a mass exodus from America however … if you should find that you are hearing things about “retraining” camps and find that the Fickle Finger of Fate is suddenly pointing at you, I trust that you will have the good sense & historical conscientiousness to run for your life.

But to where do you run?

Let’s face it as an American your existence has left you ill-prepared for life as a political refugee, not that you haven’t had plenty of examples of how similar situations have played out for others but it is very likely that you weren't paying close attention, after all, there are no bombs falling where you live!
Now, though you are becoming aware that falling bombs, drone strikes, and Coup D’tat are not the only ways you can become a refugee.
No… now that we are experiencing a new level of political “Cray-Cray” many are flying right past fight and jumping on a flight… going  just about anywhere
These are crazy times and in times like these, it is important to have a few pointers to help you through your new life as a Refugee.

As an American refugee, you will find that you have some catching up to do … while these last 10 years have seen many living in the rest of the world get really familiar with the refugee lifestyle Americans have had the luxury of being able to avoid it all but those days are fading fast.
Pretty soon even the Trump voters are going to realize that they’ve been fucked which is the most common way to become a refugee, politically, culturally or following the lead of a self-absorbed conman, however, you get fucked they can all lead to the necessity to take it on the hoof… bug out… take it on the lam!

So now what are you to do?

You have to remember that you’re an American and as an American we know that it is unlikely that you’ll take advantage of the wealth of refugee experience available ( Let’s face it … you’re a bit self-centered & a little thick ) and after all, you’re not like those other refugees! Those other huddled masses yearning to be free are fleeing corrupt government, social unrest & economic inequities …
Actually… you may have more uncommon with those others than you think.
If only there were a country that chose to shine a light welcoming the huddled masses that you have just joined, a place where they could breathe free!

Well forget about it, that place exists no longer, in fact, I can barely remember where it was!

First thing to do in your new life as a refugee is to familiarise yourself with a map of the earth, while you have gotten by just fine without any knowledge of the places and people of the planet now you’ll find that it will be quite important that you look around a bit and get some real facts about customs, social systems, political systems …

I know you’re thinking I’ve done quite well without any knowledge of the American political & social system… but look where that ignorance has gotten you!
No… you’ll now be on a quite steep learning curve, it’s best you embrace it.
You’d best prepare yourself for the fact that in most places you’ll be cast as a cultural interloper this may be somewhat familiar to you because again as an American you’ve seen it done to so many others, it’s important to note that this is where your sadly atrophied empathy bone is going to need some attention if you are going to survive your transition into a true refugee.
Ironically if you had just used it before America fell… well let’s not get into that now it’s best you use your American superpower of extreme rationalization to jump that hurdle.

Terrorism

In your new life as a Refugee you will soon become aware that while you sat in your suburban home contemplating the many (mostly fictional) ways terrorism would touch you or when the race war would start your experience is now going to move from the abstract to something more real and tangible because you’ll find that a large part of the world has been dealing with terrorism on a much more visceral & personal way.

Paperwork

If you’ve spent any time in one or more of the refugee centres you may find it difficult to get hold of documents, you may find it difficult to prove your Bona Fides in your new life so you may want to prepare yourself for work in one of the trades that will be easy to access as a refugee, such as waiter, waitress, dish hand or cab driver. you will need to familiarise yourself with the phrases “ In my country I was a Dr “ or physicist or environmentalist or any of the obsolete American trades ( word to the wise it’s best to avoid some of the more controversial trades like Lawyer & Civil Servant) be aware though there will be no city hall where you’re going, in fact, little or no infrastructure of any kind and most likely not a lot of kind thought about them.

Climate change

Out here in the world, you will find that climate change is not quite so much an unknown quantity, your new life as a political refugee may find you in a place or places where climate change will have a real effect on you.
The movement of the tides and weather patterns will now be the things you check before your Twitter feeds and will dictate how much food if any you will have.

If you do choose to leave the country be aware that that action will leave our beloved homeland in a state that very few of us would ever want, the Republicans and elite will be in full charge and as we all know left on their own it won’t be long before they find a way to destroy themselves, the country and maybe more and if that happens the dream of America will be forever lost to us.